First let me start off with happy international women’s day. Second let me state that although I am a huge disney fan (like I idolized the little mermaid as a kid…. maybe not the healthiest thing but to me she was just an amazing singer that got to swim and hang out with a crab and I thought that was the best life ever). However, I never was in to Frozen. I know, I know, it was this amazing cartoon empithany that took the world by storm. But I was just not a fan (even though my nephew loved it – he cried 30min straight when Cinderella was at a function instead of Elisa…. I had to tell him Elisa emailed me and was stuck in Arendale due to “business”). So when frozen 2 came out and my nephew wanted to watch it I had no choice but to partake on the viewing festivities.
No lie the two of us watched the movie with wide eyes, gaped mouths, and a general sense of wonderness. I will not spoil the movie, but I will just divulge that I misty-eyed during the end. It’s a decent movie don’t get me wrong, but I believe the emotional response was due to being hit with the right message at the right time, not a disney-induced euphoria.
Has a movie or show or story ever come to you at the exact right time, helping you address how you were feeling or a problem you were facing? Almost like intuitively you had materialized the solution via media form and it helped you process a predicament? I called it intuitive media. When you see or read something that perfectly mirrors how you’ve been feeling and helps you through it. Now the argument could be made that you are looking for an answer and that’s why the media coincides so well (the “you see what you need” hypothesis) – your perception of the media is what answers your problem (so really your subconscious brain is teaching your conscious brain). I prefer the disney magic version that what you need will find you in some way.
Anywho back to my frozen thoughts. The whole premise was that everything in Elsa’s life was stable and that she should be happy, but she couldn’t shake the notion that there was something more out there for her. Once again she was trying to conform to society’s norms and the little voice in her head was going “No! Follow me and live your true self”. She tried to ignore it and settle into the status quo but the voice got louder where she could ignore it no more (and then of course there was lots and lots of singing… which I usually recommend people have conversations with themselves so I can see how a song soliloquy could be beneficial). It wasn’t like the last movie where she was running away from everyone to be herself, it was she was finally running towards and embracing her true self.
Finally in the end she was able to be her and still connect with those she loved – the ultimate balance of both her independence and societal duty.
I find this is a common theme women adopt in life. We wear so many hats and although they look good on us they don’t truly fit. We try to be everything to everyone as it’s our duty for everyone else to be happy at the sacrifice of our own (and yes, ignoring your emotions and “settling” for the subpar is sacrificing your happiness). Are we living our true selves? Have we muffled that little voice inside us or is it so loud it screams at us during the silent moments (my Naturopathic opinion of why people are constantly distracting themselves and silencing silence…. they don’t want to hear that little voice inside their head that tells them to live authentically). If I don’t hear it… it doesn’t exist! Yeah, it doesnt work that way. It’ll just find a different way of communicating with you so you’ll listen. It’s similar to suppressing symptoms – if you ignore one symptom the body will keep trying until they find the one that you’ll listen too.
A common occurrence I’ve been seeing lately is women leaving their jobs or following their true passion once near or past menopause. Physiologically their job or identity of being a mother has paused and they can finally live their true live. Menopause is seen as a rebirth of the female identity, finally embarking on the journeys we dreamed of, usually in our teenage heads written in glitter pen in our journals.
We all have a inner voice, a song meant to be sung, a dream meant to be actualized. What is your inner voice telling you. Who are you? Is there something missing in your life? And if so, how are you going to find it? Now I’m not saying follow a random Icelandic singing song voice into an enchanted forest and tame a fire spirit lizard. I believe that’s just the disney metaphor of take risks, follow your heart and live you life to fullest. If you live your truth your loved ones will embrace it with you and will still stand with you. You can live your true self and still be there for your loved ones. Balance exists – you don’t have to choose between yourself and the ones you love. That balance just may look different than what you expected. It’s like when someone stands up in a canoe to move – the boat initially rocks more but eventually it’s balances out and you were able to move. Don’t be afraid to move because you’ll rock the book. It’ll balance, it’ll settle. Balance is an interplay of dynamic forces – it’s not stasis. “Settling” is not the same as waiting for things to settle. Constantly move and let things settle, then move and let it settle more. If you aren’t moving you aren’t living.
And with that, I’m going to go pick up my paint brush. Or I’ll start breaking into song.