As a child I was an introvert. I was incredibly quiet and purposely muted my personality in hopes to avoid attention and judgement. Containing my personality made me quite unhappy, and eventually I got so good at encasing myself that I became numb and almost forgot who my true self was – optimistic, creative, imaginative and energetic.
When we don’t feel comfortable, whether it’s no confidence in our self or fear of being judged, we hide our true selves as a form of survival and protection. Eventually our protective shell becomes thicker and stronger and we begin to constantly retreat into it at the sign of any stress (like a crab retreating into it’s shell). It becomes an armour, an impermeable membrane. We can survive in that state, but we don’t really live. We just exist. When we create such a protective layer not only do we keep our true self from shinning out, we prevent things from coming in – such as beauty, love, fun, joy, opportunities, ideas, etc. (along with the negative too as such is life). A protective shell also keeps from connecting to people, along with ourselves. It’s like a preverbal closet – we hide, we shut the door and shut out ourselves and others for sake of fear.
Now don’t get me wrong, some days I wish I had my “filter” back, just because it would be easier in helping deflect negativity and stress. I wouldn’t cry at commercials anymore, or lose sleep over news, or fall hard in love and be prone to heart break. But that’s not how it works. With every layer of protection you peel off, the closer you get to your true radiant self. Also the more vulnerable you become. It’s learning how to own your vulnerability, your sensitivity, and see it for the gift that it is. Rather than avoid emotion, allow yourself to experience it and let it pass. Rather than hide your personality, let it shine and grow. Be who makes you happy, what makes you whole. When your true personality shines it then attract people to you that are like you and become part of your tribe (the law of attraction), and you grow and evolve together (synergistically).
One of the best parts of going to Naturopathic Medical school (besides the knowledge I gained and the ability to do a job which completely aligns with my values and intellect), was finding a tribe in which I could truly be myself with. You can be intelligent and quirky, you can be creative and calm, you can be scientific with faith in the universe and possibilities. By being supported and understood, I was able to become the balanced and content practitioner that I am. By peeling back the filters we reveal our true self and can evoke our true health. That’s when the real healing begins. And I am honoured to be engaged in a vocation that helps people let their true self shine and heal.