Today is mother’s day. Typically a day of celebration with hugs and cards to all those important mother figures in our lives. This mother’s day is a bit different. Many are separated from their kids, viewing their kids or grandkids though glass or utilizing technology to share a special moment. More difficult must be the new mother’s dealing with isolation while trying to cope with the exponential self learning that occurs with caring for a new born. As the saying go it takes a village to raise a child – now that village has become virtual.
The above picture is the quintessential image I see when envisioning the bond between a mother and child. That first contact when a child discovers the physical person that has been caring for them for 9 months. Grasping the hand of your loved one is the first physical touch coming into this world and the last human contact we express when we leave this world. It is the symbol for the power of the bond between mother and child. And that bond is unbreakable. It can be stretched, it can be strained, but it is a nylon tether that needs pruning shears to cut through it. Even if there has been geographical separation or metaphysical separation, where mother or child is no longer on this earth, the bond still exists. That bond is a contract entered into by both mom and child and cannot be broken. It’s almost like the umbilical becomes invisible and converts to this metaphysical string connecting both parties. Think about it – mom’s have this amazing intuition where they can tell how their kids are feeling or what they are thinking – there must be some metaphysical quantum connection that exists and allows transfer of information.
This bond begins before utero – it starts once the person, or the couple, decides they want to conceive. As a Naturopath I’ve seen this many times with patients, once they decide they want a child they’ll conceive shortly after. Now as a Naturopath that focuses on family health and fertility I know this may not always be the case. A woman may be focused on having a child and is ready for one but has difficulty conceiving, whether it be a physical reason or mental-emotional block (such as needing to heal the bond with their own mom). When there are issues with fertility it’s important to address those blocks and heal them to repair the previous bonds and help create new ones.
As bonds are created preutero so is a child’s health. Prenatal health truly begins before conception. Genetic dispositions can be transferred via the maternal line through mitochondrial DNA so a child’s health really begins with bonds seen in the family tree. Once conception occurs that connection is created and the baby experiences what their mom does. Learning of health habits begin before the baby even sees the world through the information interpreted by eyes of their mom. Once the baby is born they continue to look to their mom for guidance, whether it be verbal or nonverbal. They feel what their mom feels and sees what their mom sees, strengthening that bond. This is why communication with children is important, they feel but they don’t understand. They need to know how to react. Biologically children do not have a HPA axis developed until the age of five, hence any stress experienced before that age is not understood and they look to their mom how to react. That bond determines their resilience and predicts the risk of chronic disorders in their future.
So in summation, the mother-child bond is a living, breathing, beautiful, unbreakable connection. It starts when the mom-to-be decides to be, and continues through out the life of the child. The bond is instrumental in the overall health of the child, and that health begins within the themes seen in the familial line. If you are thinking of your children or they are thinking of you then that bond is there and always will be. Mother’s day may be a material recognition of that bond, however everyday is mother-child bond day (doesn’t really roll of the tongue so I guess hallmark went with the shortened mother’s day instead). Happy mother’s day 🙂